The Last Breath

The Last breath was taken by Dennis just before 9 PM last evening, needless to say he will sadly missed. I would like to thank everyone for their support to Dennis and especially Grace.  I have no humorous anecdotes today I find while waiting for the end and knowing it will happen does not mitigate the forlorn feeling of loss.

My sister is a remarkable woman and has done everything well, she will adapt and continue on. This was reminded to be by my sister Linda when we spoke this morning.We both maintained a journal of this chapter in our life which is a comfort. Depending on her schedule (things now have to be done) I will maintain her blog with perhaps some stories from Boston.

Until next time......................... Alan

Room with a view

The weather has been so hot...the only place to be is indoors with the air conditioner keeping you cool. The forecast for today is 119 as well as for Wednesday and the rest of the week is to be in the high triple digits around 114. We need gloves to touch the steering wheel in the car! Luckily I have the automatic car starter so I can get the car cooled before driving anywhere.
If the days were cooler....

this quiet patio just outside Denny's room would be a lovely place to sit. Everything about this place is all about feeling homelike, and it does not look anything like a medical facility. Denny did not really get to see it as so but I appreciate it. Yesterday he had a fever and they monitored it with just a little success of bringing it down. I am told it is not uncommon for this to happen.....just something else. I continue to tat Angels, they will be finished here at home. The halos require some finessing and the Santa needs to have his felt backing glued on. So far the pond is working okay and yesterday I went to Lowes to get the algae treatment to add in. With this heat is sure to be a problem. Gee, I actually must have listened when Denny talked about the pond. I have not mentioned to him about the state of the plants...he did remind me those beginning days here to water them well and often.....I did try but this heat did not help at all. They will be replaced eventually. The Dove family is getting ready to leave the nest...at least the parents are trying to get them to leave but the 2 kids are not so ready. That about covers this update....thank you for the love and encouragement that you send to us....thank you for your friendship which truly is helping me get through this chapter in our lives. Time to turn on the aquarium light  wake the house tenant and feed him and brew some coffee...soon my day will really start.

Keeping busy

Some have asked whether I have been stitching or tatting and the answer is yes. Sitting with Denny and chatting and keeping busy. One thing that will always stay with me is "What are you working on now" so often asked by him to me. While in the hospital I was working on Affirmation Words.....a project that will only be completed when...... The Hospice Center is a quiet place and while we chat and watch favorite TV shows, I ....

stitched this Santa ornament on perforated paper. He needs finally completion which I can only do at home so here is only a partial look. Tatting has also occupied my time...

2 Sun catchers; one with a blue gem and the other with a gold gem and the smaller clear glass gem for an ornament or just to display piece. I plan on giving a few away as mementos of Denny. I began  another tatting project yesterday...

Angels .... today I will complete them with the bottom trim and halos. If you follow me on Facebook you will already know this....on Saturday I sent an SOS out to Don and Glenda (friends of the heart) to help me with the 3 line gas rule....that is right, the gas that The Brother Alan put in did not last until he will return this Spring...so, what to do? As I pulled into the parking lot of the Hospice center there is a Fry's gas station...I was feeling brave so I pulled in after circling once to find just the right pump. Then I stood there watching the guy across the way and the lady next to me...I remembered to open the gas cover and then after a brief struggle with the gas cap...(who designed a push and twist cap !?) turned my attention the pump. everything push button and after the last yes was tapped I lifted the handle, inserted into the car and nothing...right, squeeze the handle and Voila! gas . So at the age of 70 I have for the first time pumped gas....not sure about wanting to do this often but as Glenda pointed out I will probably only need to do this once a month or so ( I do not drive much) . Of course I bragged to Denny when I sat there ... not sure how impressed he was but the nurse was! My Denny is still slowly failing, and still not verbal nor does he open his eyes..... but we watch the cooking shows and the PBS programs and since he can not complain I sneak in a few that he is not fond of.  I sit and miss the man who's smile always melted me and his dry sense of humor and his holding my hand. Now I hold his hand and try to explain my time away from him. I know he would be glad that I have so far conquered the pond fiasco and the aquarium mishap and yes the gas pump. I tell him I love him and wish I could hear the return "I love you too". 

Not again

This pond situation is getting pretty tiresome. Every morning there has been an issue with the pump/fountain. Every morning I reach in and fix think I fix it. Yesterday it was the same only this time when I returned home there it was again...fallen and it could not get up. This time I was prepared. I had made my mind up in the morning to come home early so that I could clean the water at least a little. As it happened the water was already low so I thought okay this will work. Task one was to shut the power so the fountain when I lifted...again...from the depts. of the murky water would not spray me. So far so good. Next I prepared a container to hold the fish once taken from the water. What was I thinking?! The fish are about 15 inches and I have no net. How about scooping them out? Okay, I caught the white one but the flimsy container was about to spill and I lost my balance and just made it to the bigger container to plop the fish in. So, I am soaking wet and sitting in a small puddle of water. Plan B because for sure plan A did not work. Wet-vac out the water like Denny does and leave the remaining 2 fish in the water. The garden received the water and now to refill the pond to the proper level. Oh, and add the white fish back in.....success and he almost was knocked out by the plunge....I will check on them at daybreak. It is only 3 AM and dark out there. The water still needs to be cleaned and that will be a little removed each day and hopefully the pump/fountain will remain in place. Did I mention the brick and rock display that has been sitting in there for years has fallen? Guess it was not a good idea to use it to lean on. (Note to self...find someone who knows how to clean ponds....) Yesterday at Hospice was a quiet day. Small changes with Denny. Again they tell me this is hour to hour....again I sit and make small talk about the cooking show that we always watch, and the art/painting show and the this and that. It is difficult to watch and wait and chat but I do it nevertheless. They no longer use the port for meds but now directly inject. They reposition him and keep him comfortable...as possible... and I sit helpless to make things okay. It is not about me...it is about Denny.... and we thank you for the loving and caring kind words you send. I tell him of the cards and emails......you help to keep me strong. My sister sent me an Alex & Ani bracelet with a Wonder Woman charm....I will were it every day while sitting with Denny to remind me to be strong. Your friendship has encouraged me so much. So, another day will soon begin for me and Denny....what will it bring is a mystery, but we are in this together right to the end.................